Between being helpful, and stepping on toes. Lately, on the job and just in friendly situations, that fine line has been crossed an awful lot of times, and my toes are pretty sore.

On the job is probably more common. The temptation to “help” is strong, and, when someone asks you to do someone else's job for them, you might step in and do the job to cover for a co-worker, or to make a customer happy, or (let's be honest) to make yourself feel good, or look like the hero. Surely, if you're motives are noble, it's better to get the job done than to worry about who did it, right?

But what if you do it wrong? What if you break something? What if you don't know the whole story, and you're being asked to do something that the person whose job it really is wouldn't do for a very good reason? (It's not uncommon in the work place to play the “Mom said no, so let's ask Dad,” game.) And what if, while you're trying to be the hero and save the day, you make your co-worker look like an ass, because he or she didn't or wouldn't do that job that's supposed to be theirs? Maybe you don't care. Maybe that person is a raving incompetent, and deserves to be embarrassed. But, before you send that message, don't you think you should ask yourself if it's the message you intend to send?

And don't bank too heavily on the cast-iron ego of the person whose toes you're treading on. Don't be so sure that person will appreciate your help and just know that you would never insult him. He or she might not know that at all.

Like I said, it doesn't just happen on the job. How often do we make helpful “suggestions” to our friends? Or even to strangers? We figure we know something they don't know, and maybe we can help out. And, being honest again, we like to look like the person who knows more, the font of infinite wisdom. So we never hold back with those helpful suggestions, and, if we see a little job that needs doing in a friend's life, we sometimes just jump right in and do it.

But how does that look to others? And how does it make the recipient of our “help” feel? How does it feel to the homeowner whose house you had a little difficulty finding, when they open their door to you exclaiming, “You need bigger numbers on your mailbox!” or “You need a brighter porch light!”

Perhaps their TV and DVD player could be set up in a niftier manner, but should you grab the cables and re-arrange them without asking?  Or, if their kitchen layout doesn't make sense to you, should you start shifting things from one drawer or cabinet to another?  

Maybe their dog runs around a little too much, or maybe their cat likes to jump on furniture. Should you take it upon yourself to attempt to train the animal in front of company, or recommend obedience school to the owner in front of others? Or should you, perhaps, accept that this is the animal's home, and the owner's home, and they have a greater right to be comfortable in it, too?

Above all, ask yourself, “Do I have nothing that needs doing in my own life, that I have time to butt into others' lives?”

Maybe I'm just getting old and grouchy. (OK, that's not a maybe.) But I'm especially noticing of late how quick people are to “help” me without asking, and without thinking that, just maybe, I'm capable of handling my job and my life my self. I'm not exactly Donald Trump (and that's a good thing), but I think I've made it pretty successfully through these past 41 years. And I've yet to meet anyone who's really doing a lot better. So maybe, as a guy named Jesus once said, we should get the planks out of our own eyes before we grab our friends eyelids and start chasing the specks in theirs.

I'm just sayin' is all....