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For Shame
"Shame is an unhappy emotion invented by pietists in order to exploit the human race." Blake Edwards said that, in his brilliant script for Victor / Victoria. I think it's apt to the breaking headline news that is Miley Cyrus's decision to expose (my god!) her bare back to the world. People are saying this girl should be ashamed of herself. If there's any shame to be suffered, it should be suffered by these holier-than-thou puritans who can look at a pretty young girl and see anything other than a pretty young girl.

Until this past Sunday, I had no idea who Miley Cyrus was. And then my friend Paige happened to mention her in conversation as "the anti-Brittney," a young woman to whom she thought her daughter (my beautiful goddaughter, Molly) could look up. So, even though I could give a damn about the kind of "news" that's common to People Magazine, my ears pricked up the next day when I heard that this upstanding young lady had caused a scandal. When I heard why she'd caused a scandal – by appearing bare-backed in Vanity Fair, by allowing candid photos of her bare midriff and of herself "almost" kissing another girl to be taken, I left the room, shrieking, "I hate this country!"

Okay, maybe I don't hate this country, at least not in comparison to the rest. But, when we throw back to our puritan roots this way, I'm pretty damned ashamed of it. This girl did nothing wrong, and yet she's been forced to apologize. Maybe she feels no shame. Maybe she's a cynical showbiz kid who knows it's all about image and the audiences are just enhanced cattle who happen to be able to speak. (They don't speak well, but they speak.) Somehow, knowing 15-year-olds as I do, I doubt she feels no shame.

Putting aside the whole question of whether or not Cyrus's behavior would be offensive to the stupid people if she were a boy (and we all know it wouldn't), what exactly motivates people to even have an opinion of this, much less such a harsh, judgmental one as we're being told many have? I guess part of it is how aware we are of sexual abuse against children. We don't want to encourage that kind of crime, or be suspected of encouraging it, so we lash out when someone sexualizes the image of a young person. I don't think that's a very big part of it, though, else we'd hear of a lot more backlash against shows like The Naked Brothers Band and against products like Barbie and Bratz.

No, I think what's behind all this is the fact that a lot of adults, even in this modern age, are not comfortable with their sexuality. They still see it as "dirty," and are still shamed by their own secret fantasies. Sexuality, to them, is the polar opposite of innocence. So children and teenagers, who should be innocent, can't have sexuality. This is, I believe, the same mindset that causes people to object to the sexuality of young people in my own fiction. One reader suggested that perhaps the disturbing thing about a character like Aer'La in Taken Liberty having sex is not that she has it – it's that she enjoys it! (Which is, I guess, saying that it's okay for her to be a victim, but not to own her own sexuality. I hope no one actually believes that, but...)

People who believe this are fooling themselves. And, by crying out that a girl like Miley Cyrus has done something immoral by making the gentlest show of her sexuality, they're making the world an uglier place. Teens have sex drives. Deal with it. I've had one since I was twelve. That's not saying they should be sexually active. It's certainly not saying that adults should lay a finger on them. But realistic adults – especially parents – should recognize that their kids have a sexual identity and let it exist. Don't make them feel guilty about it. Teach them morals, certainly, but teach them without victimizing anyone unnecessarily.

There's room for innocence, morality and sexuality all in the same package. What there's no room for is shame. So, if you're offended when a young woman displays her bare back, ask yourself what's in your package. Is it the girl who should be ashamed? Or is it you?